Lost and Then Found

The past week and a half has been a tough one for me.... but I know that someone up above is really looking out for me and my well being. On the 18th of May we took Karmindy in for her 6 month check up for her heart. The appointment wasn't a surprise in the the fact that our fears of her aorta narrowing are true. She doesn't display any symptoms that they say would be likely of a narrowing aorta other than high blood pressure. For the time being we are choosing to monitor her blood pressure monthly now. We are hoping her high blood pressure will stay the same and not increase. If it does increase then surgery will be required, which will include many risks that are so disturbing for me as her mother to accept and swallow... (loss of her leg, and aorta bursting, death) to name a few. I have faith that she will be ok. Even before her birth, I knew that Karmindy was going to be a little bit of spitfire. After her birth, she has continued to show us and those around her, her fighting spirit. I think she wasn't born with her fiery personality for nothing. I like to believe that it is that fiery personality that she will help her to be around for a long time. I think Karmindy has a lot more to accomplish on this earth!

The day after Karmindys appointment, Karmindy and I were rear-ended while stopping at a red light. Thankfully, our car had only little scratches and we were not hurt. Our little accident could have been a lot worse.

I have been a little discouraged about life right now but try to remain positive; although, life just seems to be really tough and I feel that Satan is really trying to get me down- more than ever!! In fact, I have felt at times over the past week that I can't be pushed or stretched anymore for fear that I might lose it!

On Wednesday of this past week, was my breaking point. I misplaced my wedding ring. I was so physically sick about it. It isn't so much about losing the material item, as it was that my dear hubby worked so hard to surprise me when we got engaged, by giving me the ring of my dreams. My ring also represented those important and special covenants that we made nearly 8 years ago. I know it is silly but I felt like a failure. I first realized my rings were gone on Wednesday night and My first initial thought was to go to my room and kneel in prayer, which I did. I know it is so silly to pray about something as menial and insignificant as a ring, but I did it. I said many things in my prayer and let my Heavenly Father know I couldn't take much more. I know that "faith without works is dead" so I did my part and literally tore our home apart looking for my ring. I looked high and low, cleaned my kids rooms top to bottom, looked in our out side garbage, floor vents. You name it, I looked everywhere. I am ashamed to say I even started checking Karmindys diapers, just in case she swallowed it. On Thursday morning, I was sure it was gone. I just broke down.. I had done my part and I couldn't find it. I called one of my best friends and just vented. She was very encouraging and comforted me while I talked to her. After I got off the phone, I felt a huge impression to check our kitchen garbage- it was the one last place I hadn't looked. As I was sifting through the garbage, I grabbed an empty sweetened condensed milk can and out popped my ring. The ring was sitting in the can!! I literally screamed with happiness and I am sure I scared my kids by doing so, but I was so happy!! Looking back, I now remember that I had taken my ring off to make cookies and set my ring on the kitchen counter. After my baking adventure, I remember quickly hurrying about to clean the kitchen so I could get going on dinner and I am sure that I grabbed my ring meaning to put it back on but instead dropped it and the rest of my trash from making cookies, into the garbage. After finding my ring, I immediately went to my room and knelt in prayer and thanked my HF. Even though I have felt the help of my HF many times before, this experience has helped me realize once again that my HF is always there and is listening and is waiting to listen to the requests of our heart. It doesn't matter how big or small our problems may be or even how silly something may seem, he is always aware of us. He is aware of what I am going through in my life, even though at times I have felt all alone and deserted. I know that HF is always there and through the promptings of the spirit he can help guide us to where were need to be, keep us safe from both spiritual and physical harm and lead us to help others. I am grateful for my tiny miracle this past week and so glad that even though I have felt a little "Lost" and alone at times I can "Find" the comfort that I need when times get tough and feel like life is more than I can bear!

Back to Nature

I love the spring and summer time. I love the hint of heat in the air and I love smells of fresh cut grass, sweetly scented flowers, rain showers, and the sight of blossoms turning to leaves on the trees. I think that fall and spring are my favorite times of the year. I really like Northern Utah because here, we truly have the four seasons which I L-O-V-E!! During the winter all our neighbors stay inside but we have truly been blessed to live in a neighborhood that comes alive during the spring, summer and fall months. It is so fun because everyone comes out of their homes, grabs lawn chairs and we congregate at someones home to visit! I love the comradeship that our neighborhood has!

Last weekend, Mark and I found a killer deal on a patio set and we fell in love with it instantly. We have been wanting one for so long!! An added bonus is that it came with a fire pit! There is nothing that I like more than sitting by a fire roasting hot dogs or marshmallows. There is something also comforting by the warmth of a camp fire while there is still a little bit of a nip in the air! The past week our little family has been enjoying the great out doors in our back yard with friends. We have also been going outside during the evenings to sit and spend time as a family. We have truly enjoyed roasting hot dogs and making smores. Kaleb has been just as excited as Mark and I have been to get out side and try out our patio set and frequently asks, "Can we go outside and eat dinner and roast marshmallows tonight?" Karmindy has also liked it. Mostly because she likes the fire and she gets to eat food! We have to keep an eagle eye on her because she tries to get as close as she can to the fire before she says, "Hot! Hot!" in her sweet little voice. As her parents, It drives us crazy that she has no fear sometimes!

I love the great outdoors and I am looking forward to spending many more nights this summer enjoying the backyard with my little family and our some of our dear friends in our neighborhood!

Just Keep Swimming....

I love this little phrase from the well known Disney Movie, "Finding Nemo." My husband said this to me last night as we were retiring for bed after we had an extremely hard day yesterday. "Ashlee, we just have to keep swimming!" I know it is such a cheesy phrase but it holds so much truth! Yesterday, was a hard day for our little family. You would think that going to Cardiology appointments with our daughter every six months would get easier over the past few years but for me, my heart breaks and the old wound gets reopened as I watch my daughter go through these hard procedures. Days before and after an appointment, fear and anxiety set in and it can be almost choking at times, but as the days, weeks and months go by after an appointment that fear and anxiety lessen, only to be experienced once more. What is the most difficult is knowing that I can't fix it!! This trial that we are going through with Karmindy is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through or experience. It doesn't compare to anything else I have ever had to go through. It seems like in the past, a trial may only last for but a moment(even though it seemed like forever to me) but this one is ongoing and will not be one that will go away. At lease in this lifetime. I know that our Heavenly Father sent us here to be tested and with that testing he is wanting to see how we will react and if we will deny him or turn to him. I refuse to deny him because I have seen his hand in our lives repeatedly over the past few years, especially!!! He has helped us get through many hard and difficult things over the past few year that I know that we couldn't have done ourselves. I have felt a peace of love and comfort by not only turning to him but also through many caring friends and family. The outpouring of love from others has been a true testament to me that I am truly loved and I have a powerful support system!! I have learned so much from this trial with Karmindy. I have learned to be compassionate and to recognize the things that others are going through. I have learned that as bad as my trial seems, someone somewhere else is experiencing something so much more and that I need to be thankful for what I have been given and make the most of it. I have learned that when I am feeling down, that if I turn my sadness into service and serve others that I feel so much better. Through all of this, I have learned to lean on my Heavenly Father so much more. I have realized that even though I try to take on things all by my mortal self, I can't do it without my Savior and Heavenly Father. I am far from perfect, in fact I am so imperfect it isn't funny but I am trying even if it is a poor effort in mine and others eyes. I know that our Heavenly Father is seeing my efforts. As for that, I know that he is aware of our little family and of Karmindy. I know that this trial might not go away for the rest of mine or Karmindys life but I know we are not alone. With that, I know that through all of this, if I "Just keep swimming" my Father in Heaven will see my efforts and will lighten the load by throwing me a life preserver when I get tired and can't swim any more. There is Nothing more that brings me great comfort than knowing that my daughter will be mine forever despite how long she is with our little family in this lifetime, as long as I keep my covenants. I am so grateful for my husband who has stuck by my side through our many trying times. There is no one I would rather experience these things with than him. He brings so much peace and comfort to me by having him by my side. I want my kids to know that I love them dearly and that I am glad that they chose me to be there mom. How lucky I am to be a mom to these really special little people. I want my children to know that their mom has a testimony of The Gospel of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.Through all of life's little struggles, I have truly have been blessed ten fold! So with that, I will just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!!

Our Birthday Girl is 2!

The Birthday Girl getting ready to Watch Sleeping Beauty! Can you tell she loves this movie with all her heart?
It is so hard for me to believe that my baby is 2! Where has the time gone? The past two years have seemed to fly by. It seems like only yesterday that I had her. Boy, has she grown! What a joy it is to watch her become a little girl. It is bitter sweet watching her grow from a baby to a little girl. It is mostly sweet though!! I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for letting this sweet little girl be apart of our little families life. She is such a joy to have around and she brings so much light and laughter into our lives and home. Karmindy is full of spunk which I adore most of the time. Other times, maybe not so much. I am usually not fond of those times that she uses her spunky attitude to try and get what she wants by throwing major-melt- down- tantrums in public places or when she has destroyed some area of the house. All in all though, she is one tough cookie and we love our Little Miss Rose- spunky and all!

For Karmindys birthday, we kept things low key this year. We had planned to take her and Kaleb to the zoo to celebrate but Kaleb woke up with a stomach ache in the morning and then we had a schedule conflict for a delivery(patio furniture) we ended up staying home and postponing our little excursion. We didn't let a few little unplanned events get in our way...We celebrated by going to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and then went to a favorite park to let her and Kaleb play on the playground. After which we came home, watched Sleeping Beauty (her favorite movie of all time right now) opened presents and had cake and ice cream. Grandpa and Grandma Frisbey also joined us for the birthday celebration and it was nice to have them share the evening with us. Happy Birthday Little Miss Karmindy Rose! We love you dearly!Karmindy working hard on coloring while waiting for her birthday dinner. She loves bread and so she mostly ate rolls (See the plate with all the torn pieces of bread? I love that she likes carbs!)She was slightly bugged that I was taking pictures of her. She is hard to get to smile for any pictures and this is the best picture I could get of her while enjoying her dinner. I told you she was spunky!Opening a Present from Mom, Dad and Kaleb.
For part of her birthday present this year, I refinished her room into a toddler room. We bought her a little pink recliner, new curtains and a bed in a bag set for her "BiG Girl Room." She has been so proud of herself for sleeping in a big girl bed!Playing with her Snap and Style Shiatsu (Karmindy loves animals; especially dogs!)Karmindy's Birthday CakeKarmindy loved having everyone sing to her! I love how she is beaming while her daddy is holding her!

Aspiring Make-Up Artist?

When I was pregnant with Karmindy, Mark and I went through many lists of girl names to find the perfect name for our little princess. One of our favorite shows to watch while I was pregnant was a show on TLC. It is called "What Not To Wear!" For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, there are two very witty co hosts, Stacie London and Clinton Kelly who help "make over" if you will, someone who has no fashion sense. In this make over process, the subjects receiving help, will get clothing help from Stacie and Clinton and then go on to Nick for a Hair Make Over and finish up with Carmindy for skin/make up help. Mark and I watched many episodes while I was pregnant. Isn't Mark a good sport? I think so. I secretly think he enjoyed himself as much as I did when we watched these poor people with no fashion sense get made over into beautiful men and women. Don't tell any of his guy friends though because I know he would say, "That is like taking a few man cards away from my deck!" Whatever that means! ( I love you honey!) When watching this show, we fell in love with the name Carmindy. We thought it was so pretty! The name stuck but we tweaked it a bit and spelled it Karmindy with a K because her brothers name also started with a K. I know what you are thinking... Either I am way too cutesie or I deal with a bad case of OCD. Well, I suffer from both!

I don't know about you but I think Karmindy might be trying to revert to where her name came from. Just this past week, she has taken a serious interest in my make up. She loves to watch me get ready in the mornings and will sit on my bathroom floor and watch me go through my hair and make up regimen . She loves when I indulge her and put a little rouge on her cheeks and a little lipstick on her lips. I think she has been watching me a little too closely lately while I put on my mascara as well because this is what I found when the house was a little too quiet one afternoon:

I was more shocked than anything! And I was so glad that she didn't poke her eye out! I didn't get mad at her but gasped when I saw her sitting on my bathroom floor With Mascara all over her cheek and face. I think by the look on my face I must have looked upset and worried because Karmindy burst into tears! Hence her sad eyes! I really don't mind if my daughter has a love for make up, I just think it will be wise if she waits a few more years to experiment... Like 12 more years? Is that too much to ask?

Mothers Day Weekend Part 2

After our little family party with my parents we headed home and Mark let me take a nap while he tidied up the house. Mark and Kaleb surprised me with these presents when I got up!

Kaleb's sweet little hand printsKalebs beautiful artwork. He told me that me and him are painting the flowers and Karmindy and Dad are swimming (purple circle) in the pool. I love my children's artwork. It is so fun to listen to them tell me about their pictures. I also am loving how far Kaleb has come with writing his name. He is doing so well!!This is the cute little packet that he put his handprints and picture in!

I loved Kaleb's Mothers Day gifts that he made for me in Preschool. He was very admit about not giving me my presents and waited till Mark got home from work one day so that he could have his dad help hide his gift from me. Kaleb is so sweet and puts 110% in everything he does. It was so fun to see the excitement in his face about the job that he did on my gift. I love my little man.

I am also grateful for Mark... Mark got me a Beach Crusier Bike. I have been wanting one for so long. I can't wait til when it comes in the mail! I can't wait to hook it up to my my bike trailer/stroller and take the kids for bike rides this summer!!

I am truly grateful for my Mother and all that she has done and continues to do for me and my lil' family. I am also grateful to be a mother! I truly feel so fortunate to be Kaleb and Karmindys mom. They are such special little people and are truly remarkable. I am not saying that because I am their mom. They both are examples to me in many ways! I feel honored to be their mom! Happy Mothers Day to all the special woman in my life! I love you all!

Mother's Day Weekend

I had a really nice Mothers day weekend. My parents were able to come up for a little visit and it was so nice to see them and spend time with them. I couldn't have asked for a better present. It has been hard on me with our family living so far away from them. My parents aren't real big travelers and they don't make it up to Northern Utah very often, so it was a real treat to have them come up and stay for the weekend.

Saturday May 8th, 2010

My parents drove up on Saturday morning and spent part of the afternoon with our little family. Later that night, Mark took me and the kids to La Costa in Sandy for some delicious Mexican food. I love their Crab Enchiladas! After dinner, we headed up to the Little America where my parents were staying and we went swimming with them in the pool. The kids had a blast swimming. Mark worked with Kaleb on his swimming and I enjoyed playing with Karmindy. Karmindy loved to go down the stairs in the pool. She would go down the stairs and then want me to swim with her over to the side so she could get out of the pool and go down the stairs again.(go figure) She also loved jumping into my arms while standing on the deck of the pool. So cute!

Sunday May 9th, 2010

On Sunday, my parents came with us to our Sacrament Meeting. After Sacrament meeting the six of us headed out early and we went to the Mothers Day Brunch Buffet at the Little America. The food was scrumptious! I had my fill of crab legs, shrimp, salmon and gorged myself on their delectable desserts. A favorite of Kaleb's was the chocolate fountain. Kaleb had 3 huge chocolate dipped strawberries!! I couldn't believe that he ate every last bite!Don't you just love Kaleb's Chocolate Smeard face?Karmindy enjoying helping mom eat some dessert!

Me with my little gems. Karmindy was more interested in eating dessert than getting her picture taken. Smart girl!

After Brunch we went back to my parents room and we visited and had a little party for Karmindy. Karmindy enjoyed opening up her presents from her Nanna D and Papa. She loved the Snap n' Style Doll (think Polly Pockets only bigger) my parents gave her and she also got the cutest little sundress from them. I can't wait for her to wear it! It was so nice to be able to spend time with my parents and it was so nice for my kids to spend time with them too.

My kids adore their Grandparents!
Karmindy with her birthday presents from Nanna D and PappaKarmindy knew exactly what to do! She loved opening her gifts!
Brother offering a little assistance... Kaleb said this to me when he saw the presents my parents brought with them for Karmindy, "Mom, can we just pretend it's my birthday too?" Believe me he wasn't left out. My mom and dad got him a little tiny pin ball machine to take home so he didn't feel so left out. Seriously? My kids are truly so spoiled!
Karmindy showing off her baby doll!