Lost and Then Found

The past week and a half has been a tough one for me.... but I know that someone up above is really looking out for me and my well being. On the 18th of May we took Karmindy in for her 6 month check up for her heart. The appointment wasn't a surprise in the the fact that our fears of her aorta narrowing are true. She doesn't display any symptoms that they say would be likely of a narrowing aorta other than high blood pressure. For the time being we are choosing to monitor her blood pressure monthly now. We are hoping her high blood pressure will stay the same and not increase. If it does increase then surgery will be required, which will include many risks that are so disturbing for me as her mother to accept and swallow... (loss of her leg, and aorta bursting, death) to name a few. I have faith that she will be ok. Even before her birth, I knew that Karmindy was going to be a little bit of spitfire. After her birth, she has continued to show us and those around her, her fighting spirit. I think she wasn't born with her fiery personality for nothing. I like to believe that it is that fiery personality that she will help her to be around for a long time. I think Karmindy has a lot more to accomplish on this earth!

The day after Karmindys appointment, Karmindy and I were rear-ended while stopping at a red light. Thankfully, our car had only little scratches and we were not hurt. Our little accident could have been a lot worse.

I have been a little discouraged about life right now but try to remain positive; although, life just seems to be really tough and I feel that Satan is really trying to get me down- more than ever!! In fact, I have felt at times over the past week that I can't be pushed or stretched anymore for fear that I might lose it!

On Wednesday of this past week, was my breaking point. I misplaced my wedding ring. I was so physically sick about it. It isn't so much about losing the material item, as it was that my dear hubby worked so hard to surprise me when we got engaged, by giving me the ring of my dreams. My ring also represented those important and special covenants that we made nearly 8 years ago. I know it is silly but I felt like a failure. I first realized my rings were gone on Wednesday night and My first initial thought was to go to my room and kneel in prayer, which I did. I know it is so silly to pray about something as menial and insignificant as a ring, but I did it. I said many things in my prayer and let my Heavenly Father know I couldn't take much more. I know that "faith without works is dead" so I did my part and literally tore our home apart looking for my ring. I looked high and low, cleaned my kids rooms top to bottom, looked in our out side garbage, floor vents. You name it, I looked everywhere. I am ashamed to say I even started checking Karmindys diapers, just in case she swallowed it. On Thursday morning, I was sure it was gone. I just broke down.. I had done my part and I couldn't find it. I called one of my best friends and just vented. She was very encouraging and comforted me while I talked to her. After I got off the phone, I felt a huge impression to check our kitchen garbage- it was the one last place I hadn't looked. As I was sifting through the garbage, I grabbed an empty sweetened condensed milk can and out popped my ring. The ring was sitting in the can!! I literally screamed with happiness and I am sure I scared my kids by doing so, but I was so happy!! Looking back, I now remember that I had taken my ring off to make cookies and set my ring on the kitchen counter. After my baking adventure, I remember quickly hurrying about to clean the kitchen so I could get going on dinner and I am sure that I grabbed my ring meaning to put it back on but instead dropped it and the rest of my trash from making cookies, into the garbage. After finding my ring, I immediately went to my room and knelt in prayer and thanked my HF. Even though I have felt the help of my HF many times before, this experience has helped me realize once again that my HF is always there and is listening and is waiting to listen to the requests of our heart. It doesn't matter how big or small our problems may be or even how silly something may seem, he is always aware of us. He is aware of what I am going through in my life, even though at times I have felt all alone and deserted. I know that HF is always there and through the promptings of the spirit he can help guide us to where were need to be, keep us safe from both spiritual and physical harm and lead us to help others. I am grateful for my tiny miracle this past week and so glad that even though I have felt a little "Lost" and alone at times I can "Find" the comfort that I need when times get tough and feel like life is more than I can bear!